Getting Married? You Need More than a Wedding Budget…

So let’s take a look at each of these steps:

1) Identify Your Goals (together)

Many of us have daydreamed of our ideal wedding, but have you ever thought about where those dreams come from? And don’t forget - dreaming together is key. 

Nobel-prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has demonstrated that our financial decisions are made with 90% emotions and 10% logic. Knowing this is half the battle. 

I work with couples to identify their financial priorities plus the influences and deeper motivations behind them. In one example, I quickly diffused an engaged couple’s dispute over an expensive trinket by helping them realize what the trinket represented from the fiancée’s childhood and how it met a deep emotional need. I have all of my clients rank their financial priorities; engaged couples need to also identify and rank their wedding priorities, AND seek to understand why those pieces are important.

2) Assess your Current Situation

“Just set a budget”, they say. But how do you set a budget if you don’t really know what you have or whether your personal budget can handle this massive expense?

The key here is to first understand your personal budget before you begin mapping out a wedding budget. Take the time to invest in an honest assessment of your income, assets, spending, and debt. When I work with clients as a financial coach, I walk them through how to gather all their financial information (credit reports, bills, income, hidden expenses, forgotten accounts, etc.), to create a holistic picture of their financial situation. Your wedding will be a line item in this picture.

One tip to make some extra money while wedding planning - establish your wedding fund savings into a dedicated, high-yield savings account. This “fund" helps you visualize your progress toward the total goal, separates your wedding savings from other accounts, ensures the money is readily available, and grows higher than a typical savings rate. If family members plan to contribute, ask if they can deposit their contributions early into that fund. Even an extra $50 on interest could be a plate for another guest!

3) Draft Your Budget

After understanding your current state finances, you’ll want to create a new personal or household budget.  Financial Butlers is great at helping you “organize your financial house” in this way. Proper budgeting is not about cutting what you can’t afford, but about prioritizing what you can. Your well crafted personal budget should now include your wedding savings - or spending - as a line item.

Next, you’re ready to focus on your actual wedding budget. You’ll want to start with research into average costs in your area and ranges for the wedding you desire.  Get estimates for the big items (venues, catering, flowers, videographer, etc.) but don’t forget the little things that can go unnoticed (thank you cards, vendor meals, postage, or a second wedding gown in our case)!

You can start jotting down anticipated expenses into our

Don’t forget to plan for the unexpected and include an emergency fund - because the actual expenses will be higher than the budgeted expenses. 

Now it’s time to allocate money to your priorities. Remember, you can’t have it all (even for your wedding), but you can have a lot if you prioritize and budget accordingly.

4) Implement and Adjust

Finally - you start making wedding purchases! The hard work up front will pay off and reduce the stress and anxiety that comes with the surprise costs of a wedding.

For most of you, this will be your first time and you will make mistakes. Think of it as an experiment - one you will work through together. It’s often not about whether the napkins should be amethyst or heliotrope, but about the emotions and motivations behind your choices. Pay attention to these, and the money follows.

As I’ve said before, money is a means to an end. It exists to be spent so have fun spending it on what you want as well as what you need. At the end of the day, people pay money to go to Escape Rooms because hey - with the right mindset and the right partner, puzzle-solving can be fun.